The Resolution for Men Read online

  Where sin has crept into your life—repent

  Where bitterness has taken root in your heart—forgive

  Where lies have been woven into the script—seek truth

  Where traditions have taken precedence—start fresh

  Where problems have tried to steal and malign—pray

  Where hindrances are piling up—consecrate and dedicate your family to God

  These are the kinds of ongoing principles that will prove the difference between signing a resolution and becoming a man of resolution. God wants you to seek Him and find Him so you can know Him and love Him. His intent from the beginning has always been to use you for His glory. And there is nothing greater, more fulfilling, or more important than living with this goal in mind.

  This is why it is so important to free yourself of any weights, burdens, or chains that would prevent you and your family from running the race of life to your fullest potential for God’s glory. He can break any chain from your past and allow you to inspire a legacy of faithfulness for future generations.

  So it’s time to move forward. To grow in faith and strength. To take back surrendered ground. To form a bold, protective blockade of blessing for future generations. Let’s start where we are and go forward as fast as we can. From God’s heart to our reality.

  By His grace, we can become faithful men of resolution.

  COURAGEOUS CHALLENGE

  Consecrate your family by praying and dedicating them to God.

  MEMORY VERSE

  Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31–32 NIV)

  PART TWO

  COMMITTING TO RESOLUTION

  When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.

  1 Corinthians 13:11

  CHAPTER 4

  RESOLVE TO BE A MAN OF RESPONSIBILITY

  I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.

  When did you become a man? Can you answer that question? Was it when you started driving a car or took your first job? Was it when you left home? Some wonder if it was when they were married, had sex the first time; others when they could legally vote or fight for their country. Men are often unsure.

  We have a generation of men today in their thirties still wondering if they have truly become men yet. And if they were told that they were indeed one, they wouldn’t really know what that means. This frustration is common in our gender-confused culture, which leaves men with more questions than authoritative answers.

  But God’s Word gives us clear insight as to when a boy steps into manhood and what it means to be a man. Learning this can not only help us understand ourselves better but also help our sons become secure men as well.

  Growing into manhood is a process that takes place between two bookends. Puberty is the obvious starting point God has established biologically to mark the first stage of manhood. When Jesus was twelve years old and His parents accidentally left Him in Jerusalem after the Passover, His response to being alone communicated that He had already started stepping into manhood. After they went back to look for Him, they didn’t find Him in a back alley playing with children. They found Him in the temple already embracing the things of men, “sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers” (Luke 2:46–47).

  His worried mother, still considering him a boy, said, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously.” But Jesus said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” (Luke 2:48–49 NKJV).

  Though Jesus was likely just entering puberty, His mental, social, and spiritual development into manhood had already begun. For after this event, the Scriptures say that He “kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:52). He kept maturing in His thinking mentally, in His body physically, in His fellowship with God spiritually, and in His relationships with others socially.

  He was becoming a man.

  In the Jewish community today, when a boy reaches puberty (around the age of thirteen), the Bar Mitzvah ceremony signals his exodus from childhood and the beginning of his manhood. The Hebrew word Bar means “son of.” Mitzvah means “the law” or “the commandment.” During a Bar Mitzvah ceremony, the boy’s father and other trusted men call him into manhood, embrace him, and allow him to read aloud from the Old Testament Scriptures. He is now to learn and obey the commands of God on his own as a “son of the law,” and his parents now consider him accountable for his own sins. After this event he is considered mature enough to own property and be married in the future when he is ready. He understands he must now embrace responsibility for his own life, start stepping into his manhood and acting like a man. This rite of passage makes the experience of becoming a man clear to everyone involved.

  The Bible also reveals the other bookend marking full arrival into manhood. If puberty is where manhood begins, many passages indicate that by twenty years of age, a male is considered an adult man in the eyes of God.

  When the Old Testament Israelites were asked to give a financial contribution during a census, God required it of every man “twenty years old and over.” (Exodus 30:14)

  When they made vows to help fund the sanctuary, God stated that men must give the most—identifying them as any “male from twenty years even to sixty years old.” (Leviticus 27:3)

  The individuals God acknowledged as ready to fight in war for Israel were men who were “twenty years old and upward.” (Numbers 1:3)

  And when Israel sinned and grumbled against the Lord, the men who were held accountable and punished severely by God were, again, those “twenty years old and upward.” (Numbers 14:29)

  So in God’s eyes, every lesson and preparation that was required in order for a boy to become a fully accountable, responsible man was expected to happen during this roughly seven-year window between puberty and the age of twenty. He may have become a responsible adult earlier than twenty, but by then he had no excuse. This expectation of responsibility should guide and influence our thinking today.

  This means, then, that the first Resolution point—if you’re twenty or older—has something very important for you to embrace.

  I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children

  Whether you are currently married or not, or have children or not, you’re a man. And as a man, God calls you to an appropriate and excellent standard: His.

  A standard of initiative, self-control, and eager acceptance of your vital roles.

  A high level of expectation for certain attributes to become part of the fiber of your being.

  To be a man is to fully own your roles as an adult, husband, father, employee, neighbor, and any other role you choose to undertake. But what does taking responsibility for your manhood look like? How do you recognize it in yourself? What are you supposed to be shooting for, and how does God help you overcome the obstacles that exist between where you are and where He wants you to be?

  In this chapter, we’d like to show you seven attributes indicated in Scripture that define what true manhood is and should be. These things should be developing in every boy as he becomes a man. And every man, regardless of age, needs to find these within himself and be living them out. Here they are . . .

  1. A Man Accepts His Masculinity

  Masculinity is generally understood as having the characteristics of maleness. But the key ingredient is actually strength. From childhood, God has put a longing inside us to be strong. A boy doesn’t twirl in front of the mirror; he flexes his muscles instead. The natural competitiveness and aggressiveness in men is often a testing and demonstration of their strength. But like Jesus, every man also needs t
o be developing moral, mental, social, and spiritual strength. That’s because all of our key roles in life will require greater strength in order to carry them out.

  If men do not develop a sense of their own fortitude, they will never attempt hard things, lead their families, fight for their country, or confront evil. Instead they will become irresponsible, passive cowards who are easily swayed and give up when the pressure is on. The apostle John wrote, “I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one” (1 John 2:14).

  The opposite of masculinity is to be feminine, which means soft, pretty, and delicate. It is the perfect complement to masculinity. God intentionally made women weaker in some ways so that men would view them like fine china or fragile jewelry. Not as possessions, but as being extremely valuable. Always treated with honor and tender care.

  The apostle Peter wrote, “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor” (1 Peter 3:7). He didn’t say women are weak, but “weaker” in comparison to men. It’s ironic that our feminist indoctrinated culture has spent decades telling women to “Rise up and be strong!” and telling men to “Sit down and be quiet!”

  Despite this, it is a father’s job to call his sons into manhood. He should challenge them to embrace their masculinity, be like Jesus, and become mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially strong. To walk, talk, and act like a strong man. King David charged his son Solomon, “Be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man” (1 Kings 2:2).

  So if you are an adult male, twenty years of age or older, then God considers you a man! But if you are going to obey Him and be faithful to Him until the end, you must act like a man, embrace your masculinity, and hear His command to “Be strong!” (Joshua 1:9)

  Then as a man, when times get rough, you must not quit. When everything seems against you, you cannot run away. When you fall or fail—as all of us do—you must own your mistakes, get back on your feet, and not shirk your responsibilities. When the enemy is attacking, you must keep up your resistance—“and having done everything, to stand firm” (Ephesians 6:13). You must keep doing the right thing and fighting for what is true and noble. You must obey God’s Word that says to all of us, “Act like men, be strong!” (1 Corinthians 16:13). This is our responsibility as men. This is required of us to be faithful.

  2. A Man Speaks and Acts with Maturity

  The apostle Paul said, “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11). A vital transition must take place as a boy becomes a man. He must intentionally choose to let go of childishness and foolishness.

  Clinging to childhood while growing into manhood is like trying to run in opposite directions at the same time. The “Peter Pan Syndrome” is a modern term often used to describe immature men who refuse to grow up.

  Because teen years are often wasted and fathers have become silent, this generation of young men doesn’t know why they are here or what God has called them to become. So they wander into the future, drown themselves in entertainment, and live for the weekend rather than for eternity. Rather than being responsible men of their word, they are noncommittal and dependent upon their mothers. Rather than excelling and leading like previous generations, they are passively watching women their age surpass them in the classroom and in the marketplace. Rather than initiating serious conversations with wiser men, they goof off with fools in sports bars. Their identities are wrapped up in pleasing themselves and wasting their time, not bettering society and training up the next generation.

  They then carry this over into their families. Sometimes it’s a thirty-year-old man who won’t stop playing video games to read to his children. Or a forty-year-old dad who won’t talk with his hurting teenage daughter because it would take time away from a playoff game. Or a father who won’t go to church with his family because he stayed up too late watching television shows that only reinforce his immaturity.

  Too many men want the freedoms, rewards, and privileges of manhood but only the responsibilities of boyhood. They want intimacy with their wives without loving them as God instructed. They want to be respected by their kids without investing time and discipline in them. They want a higher status at work without raising their own level of honor and integrity.

  But if we want to be men, we must resolve that “we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. . . . Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ” (Ephesians 4:14–15 NLT). We will think the thoughts and speak the words of mature men, not teenage boys. As Paul challenged the early believers, “Do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature” (1 Corinthians 14:20 ESV).

  Every man needs to identify and release any leftover childishness from his past. Childhood has come and gone. It’s time to repent of wanting to remain there, learn to act our age, and move on to the greater, better, and nobler things of men. “The noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands” (Isaiah 32:8 NIV).

  3. A Man Embraces Responsibility

  Men are happiest and at their best when they are responsible—and at their worst when they are not. If you were to boil every point of the Resolution down to one statement, it could be this: We must resolve to fully embrace all of our responsibilities before God.

  The main concept of responsibility is that you are being entrusted and empowered by a higher authority to care for something or someone. And along with this empowerment comes the blessings of doing it well or the consequences of doing it poorly.

  The first thing God did after creating the first man, Adam, was to give him responsibilities. He placed him in the garden “to cultivate it and keep it” (Genesis 2:15). This meant he was to work it so that everything under his care would bloom and stay protected. In tandem with this responsibility, God gave Adam increased value, freedom, and the ability to enjoy the fruit of his labor. And just like Adam, we too are wired and empowered by God to accept responsibility into our lives. We each must get busy cultivating and protecting everything within our jurisdiction. Sin makes men tend to resist responsibility, but embracing it is part of our manhood.

  Alex and Brett Harris, authors (at age nineteen) of Do Hard Things, tell how history abounds with examples of young men who rose to the occasion after being given great responsibilities. At twelve, David Farragut, the U.S. Navy’s first admiral, took command of his first ship by sailing a captured vessel back to America. George Washington began mastering geometry, trigonometry, and surveying at the same age as a modern fifth or sixth grader. At sixteen he became a county surveyor. At twenty-one he owned 2,300 acres of land.6

  The reason such stories astound us, the Harris brothers say, is because we view young people through a lens that didn’t exist back then—adolescence—a relatively modern invention that establishes teen years as a moratorium on responsibility and prolongs childhood indefinitely.

  When a young man is passive and irresponsible, he greatly limits his freedoms, opportunities, and successes. Whereas responsibility builds up a man and everything around him, the lack of it only weakens and destroys. Irresponsible men are dangerous to whatever they touch.

  For example, whether he is married or not, every man is responsible for his seed. When he isn’t, he leaves neglected children behind to struggle with unmet needs and anger, and then to carry on his destructive behavior. When he supports an abortion to escape fatherhood, his selfish avoidance of responsibility is what drives it.

  Responsibility calls us to action and tests us. It reveals our character, our caliber, and our commitment. It is both a gift and an honor. And the more maturity a man has, the more responsibility God can trust him with.

  So we challenge you to gratefully accept the duties God has give
n you. Take the steering wheel back into your hands as you guide, protect, and provide for your family. Don’t force your wife or children to shoulder what rightfully is on you. While you live and breathe, resolve to bloom and protect everything under your care.

  Embrace responsibility! Love it. Live it. Teach it to your children. Model it at home and at work. Initiate it with other men around you. Be the man who makes the call and takes the heat. Come up with the plan and make sure it gets done. Own your mistakes and clean up your own mess. Beg God for wisdom and the guidance to do it well, and then trust Him for the courage never to run from it. “A faithful, sensible servant is one to whom the master can give the responsibility of managing his other household servants and feeding them. If the master returns and finds that the servant has done a good job, there will be a reward” (Luke 12:42–43 NLT).

  4. A Man Functions Independently

  Both the Old and New Testaments say that “a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5). Even if a man never marries, God created him to be able to leave home and stand on his own two feet. He should be capable enough to work, function, and live without dependence on anyone else financially, spiritually, or physically.