The Resolution for Men Read online

  The Resolution for Men

  Copyright © 2011 by Kendrick Bros., LLC

  All Rights Reserved

  Printed in the United States of America

  ISBN: 978-1-4336-7122-7

  B&H Publishing Group

  Nashville, Tennessee

  Unless otherwise stated, Scripture is taken from the New American Standard Bible (NASB), © the Lockman Foundation, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977; used by permission.

  Also used: The English Standard Version® (ESV), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  Also used: The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV), copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.

  Also used: The New Living Translation (NLT), copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

  Also used: New King James Version (NKJV), copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

  Also used: King James Version (KJV).

  Dewey Decimal Classification: 248.842

  Subject Heading: CHRISTIAN LIFE MEN LEADERSHIP

  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 • 15 14 13 12 11

  CONTENTS

  Introduction

  Part One: A Call to Men

  1. Why We Need Men of Resolution

  2. A Lifelong Vision of Fatherhood

  3. Becoming a Chain Breaker

  Part Two: Committing to the Resolution

  4. Resolve to Be a Man of Responsibility

  5. Resolve to Lead Your Family

  6. Resolve to Love Your Wife

  7. Resolve to Bless Your Children

  8. Resolve to Live with Honor

  9. Resolve to Fight for Justice

  10. Resolve to Demonstrate Love

  11. Resolve to Provide for Your Family

  12. Resolve to Reconcile with Your Past

  13. Resolve to Live with Integrity

  14. Resolve to Be Found Faithful

  15. Resolve to Leave a Legacy

  Appendices

  1. How Can I Find Peace with God?

  2. Six Powerful Influences You Must Guard in Your Children’s Lives

  3. Ten Potential Consequences of a Man Who Commits Adultery

  4. Seven Steps to Better Sex

  5. Resolution Groups: Accountability for Men

  6. Scriptures to Memorize with Your Children

  7. How to Pray for Your Family

  8. Avoiding Pornography

  9. Final Speech from Courageous

  Discussion Questions

  Notes

  Acknowledgments

  WEAK MEN WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THE CONTENTS OF THIS BOOK.

  THE RESOLUTION IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART, AND THOSE WHO COMMIT TO IT WILL BE MORE ACCOUNTABLE IN THE FUTURE.

  YOU WILL BE CHALLENGED TO GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE, WORK THROUGH HIDDEN ISSUES FROM YOUR PAST, AND MAKE STRATEGIC SACRIFICES FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FAITH.

  BUT THOSE WHO STEP UP TO THE CHALLENGE WILL FIND THAT LIVING OUT THE RESOLUTION WILL RADICALLY IMPACT THEIR PRIORITIES AND ASSIST THEM IN BECOMING STRONG MEN WHO ARE FOUND FAITHFUL.

  IT WILL TAKE COURAGE.

  BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT.

  YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

  INTRODUCTION

  This book is an unapologetic call for men to live courageously for their faith and their families. It is designed to strategically challenge you to become the man God created you to be.

  In the following pages, we will discuss God’s uniquely designed journey for a man from birth to death. We will talk about how to let go of the past, become a stronger spiritual leader in your home, win the hearts of your children, and pursue the ironclad character God wants to develop in each of us as men. Finally, we will challenge you to commit to living for God’s higher purposes in the form of a Resolution.

  We want you to experience the rewards that come from fearlessly embracing the responsibilities God has given to all men, regardless of any past mistakes—boldly living the life God intended right now and then leaving a strong legacy for many generations to come.

  Too many men sadly waste their lives. They don’t really know the God they claim to worship and have not ultimately concluded what they are living for. Halfhearted and indecisive, they spiritually wander through life in a fog of confusion and apathy. They can tell you what they’re doing this weekend, but they have no clue about their purpose in life or in eternity. As a result, they go through the motions day after day, wasting most of their time on trivial matters.

  At home, men are notorious for being oblivious to the huge leadership vacuum their passivity creates. They don’t realize how negatively their wives and children are affected by their lack of spiritual direction and leadership.

  But we don’t have to keep living this way.

  We can be inspired by the fact that great things happen when men wake up and step up. When a man finally understands his role and resolutely surrenders himself to God’s plan, his life completely changes. His priorities and vision become clear, and his life takes on a bold new purpose. He learns to say “no” to sinful and secondary things that hold him back, and keep his values and commitments strong no matter the circumstance.

  The Old Testament leader Joshua was a man of resolution. He knew who he was and what his responsibilities were. Time and again, his boldness, faith, and courage rallied the fearful, forgetful men of Israel to battle and conquest. Finally, standing before them near the end of his life, delivering a farewell address to his countrymen, his wholehearted resolve and commitment to God as the leader of his family still showed through. He said:

  If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. (Joshua 24:15)

  He wasn’t swayed by what the thousands of men around him decided to do. Whether or not they responded favorably to his challenge did not affect Joshua in the least. Even before they made their decisions, he was already resolute.

  “But as for me and my house . . .”

  Even if his house was the only one.

  Joshua’s words rise up from history and echo in our ears today. He asks us, “Where do you stand? Choose today! Stop wallowing and waiting. Stop shifting back and forth, sitting on the fence in your commitments. Make it clear where you stand! What are you waiting for?”

  Well, how would you answer that question right now?

  What is the status of your resolve compared to Joshua’s?

  If it falls short, then you have a decision to make. Will you launch out into the deep with God, or will you continue playing games in the shallow end? Are you going to follow the latest popular philosophies and take your chances, or will you wisely start dealing with the real issues of life?

  We believe there is a rising movement of men who are disgusted by their own mediocrity and dissatisfied with the weak standards of our dark culture. Men who desire to lock shields with other strong men and step up with courage to stand for Christ and their families like never before. Men who want to make the most of the rest of their days. Men who understand that eternity is too long for them to waste the remainder of their short time here on earth.

  Throughout history, men who lived incredible lives and left great legacies did it intentionally. They knew that men do not stumble upon integrity or accidentally find themselves being faithful to God. Passivity merely leads to futility. A man cannot be passive about what Scripture tells him to do for his family and expec
t to be found faithful to God in the end. He must see with spiritual eyes and realize that future generations are directly impacted by his daily decisions.

  God’s Word is calling us to “man up!” To be all He’s created us to be and do all He’s prepared for us to do. We can continue as we are and fail to learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of our ancestors, or we can blaze a new trail of faithfulness for our children and for multiple generations yet to be born. It’s time to make some serious decisions.

  This is what led us to establish the Resolution.

  What Is the Resolution?

  The Resolution is a game changer. It is a bold declaration stating that from this point on, you are choosing to live for what matters most. It’s established in your heart and then spoken from your lips, committing yourself to fulfill your God-given responsibilities and live your life with faith and integrity. It expresses who you desire to be as a man and reminds you of your priceless influence on the next generation.

  Resolving means deciding—once and for all. The Scriptures describe a resolute man as being steadfast, meaning he has chosen to stand up and become fixed on doing what is right. The psalmist describes a blessed man by saying, “His heart is steadfast, trusting the LORD” (Psalm 112:7).

  A solid, truthful, well-thought-out resolution will redirect the remainder of your days to a finish line marked FAITHFUL so you can run the rest of the race of life with endurance and never turn back.

  The Resolution statements in this book are based upon the highest priorities for men in God’s Word. Each statement describes a commitment you should resolve to live by as the leader of your home. They represent a call to action, and living by them will ultimately help you stand before God one day and hear Him say, “Well done!”

  Here is the Resolution for Men that we will explain and challenge you to make in the days ahead . . .

  THE RESOLUTION

  I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.

  I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.

  I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.

  I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.

  I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.

  I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.

  I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.

  I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.

  I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

  I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.

  I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.

  I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

  As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

  Joshua 24:15

  The points in this Resolution are key things God has commanded us to do in Scripture, and we should take them very seriously. This is not a list of short-range goals to consider. It’s not a decision you make on New Year’s Day and lay aside within a few weeks. This is a life resolution that you commit to, and then keep recommitting to for the rest of your days.

  You may find, as you read through the list, that you agree with every point stated, but you don’t think you’re ready to commit to them. That’s OK. Scripture says it is better not to make commitments than to make them hastily and then not keep them. But these are not new concepts. They come straight from the Scriptures. And because God has already commanded us to keep these standards, He obviously expects us to live by them.

  We are just challenging you to do what God is going to hold each of us accountable for doing anyway. So be confident that with His help, you can become true to these commitments. As you rely on Him, He will provide you with the grace and strength to be faithful to each one.

  Still, when you read the Resolution, you may feel overwhelmed by a sense of inadequacy, as though your past is a heavy millstone weighing around your neck, holding you back. We have all made countless mistakes. We have all stumbled in many ways. But God’s mercy is bigger than our past. And the testimonies of others and the Word of God both show us that it is never too late to start doing the right thing. Past failure doesn’t have to mean future failure. If you have failed at these things in the past, you can still grow and become a man of God, proving successful in your roles as a husband, father, and grandfather. The greatest encouragement is knowing that God wants you to be successful. He is calling and equipping you!

  You may have spent years in anger at the mistakes your own father made, mistakes that have brought great pain into your life. If so, now is the time to deal with the past and start focusing on becoming the father you wish you’d had. We challenge you to develop a hatred for mediocrity in your commitments and to spit out any halfhearted efforts as if they were lukewarm water. We are praying for breakthroughs as you read this book, hoping that a fresh surge of spiritual adrenaline will drive you to fully embrace all that God is calling you to be and do.

  We recognize that the wording of the Resolution does not apply to all men who will read this book. We commend those of you who are single, who have come here because you want to better understand and prepare for being a husband and father in the days ahead. You may be married with no children yet, and you want to be better at leading your wife. You may have children but no spouse, and you desire to better understand and succeed in your role as a dad. You may be a grandfather wanting to maximize your influence and redeem this season of your life.

  Whether you are married or not, or have children or not, we invite you to take on the challenge. Apply the Resolution to your situation, and join us in embracing God’s call to become godly men who are stepping up as spiritual leaders in this generation.

  Signing this resolution will be easy and take seconds. But fully living it out and being true to its principles will be difficult and take the rest of our lives. We are aware of this. This is why it is good to do this with other men and to maintain accountability. In fact, we’ve added discussion questions at the end of the book, as well as a memory verse and specific challenge at the end of each chapter, to help you get the most out of this experience.

  But be sure of this: whatever way you choose to go about it, every chapter in this book is a strategic investment in you to help you win. We are inviting you to be courageous—to learn what it means to become a man of firm resolution. We fully intend to give ourselves to this and are asking God to help us intentionally pursue the kind of lives that are found faithful to Him in the end. And we are asking you to join us on this incredible journey.

  As men, we are called to this! We were made for this!

  And by God’s grace we can do this! It’s time to man up!

  Be alert; stand firm in the faith; act like men; be strong. (1 Corinthians 16:13)

  PART ONE

  A CALL TO MEN

  He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.

  Malachi 4:6

  CHAPTER 1

  WHY WE NEED MEN OF RESOLUTION

  Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.

  Ephesians 5:14–16

  When Jack woke up to people screaming, he was jolted back into reality, and it took him only a split second to realize this wasn’t a dream. His wife, Sarah, had reached over to try steering their minivan back onto the road, but she had overcompensated, swerving past their lane and into oncom
ing traffic. A guy in a pickup truck laid on his horn and quickly maneuvered off the road, barely missing them.

  “Watch out!” Jack yelled as he once again grabbed the wheel. But Sarah’s hands still gripped it tightly as she swung their vehicle back across the lane to the right, again overcorrecting and veering them off the road on the other side. The rapid thumping of the road deflectors under the tires was soon replaced by the sound of guardrails scraping down the side of their van. Jack flinched as a road sign quickly took out the right, sideview mirror. All three of their children in the back seat began crying hysterically as the car sped toward a sharp turn in the road, where a single railing was the only thing keeping them from plummeting over a dirt embankment.

  “Let go, Sarah! I got it!”

  Everything went into slow motion. Jack, in shock, turned to his wife, who was pale white with a look of intense fear in her eyes, hands fused to the wheel as she and her husband both fought—almost against each other—to control the car’s path. His eyes darted up to the rearview mirror to see the panic-stricken faces of the children he loved more than any others in the world. Reality began settling into Jack’s mind: he had fallen asleep at the wheel. He knew that he was the reason why his whole family was about to die. But he also knew that the cause of their current crisis was the key to their potential rescue.

  Himself.

  With a knee-jerk reaction, Jack hit the brakes, sending the car sliding on the pavement, throwing everyone’s body forward, locking their seatbelts around them like a vise. Burning out the tires, he screeched to a halt within inches of the guardrail overlooking the long drop-off. As everyone rocked backward and into their seats, Jack stared over the hood in shock at the catastrophe his entire family had been mere seconds from experiencing.