The Resolution for Men Read online

  “Yes sir, I will,” Timothy replies. And you know he means it.

  This heart-to-heart, man-to-young-man moment begins to define how they interact with each other as Timothy grows, making him desire to live up to his dad’s example and expectations. You see Scriptures being read with James’s eyes and then quickly spoken into the ears of his son. When Timothy is alone, you hear the words of his father echo in his memory and counsel him during his decisions.

  “Keep your promises no matter how hard, son. And be faithful with the little things, especially when no one is watching.”

  “Treat everyone you meet with kindness, respect, and compassion.”

  “Know what you believe, why you believe it, and be ready to defend it.”

  “Do your work with all your heart and with excellence as unto the Lord, not men.”

  “Be willing to stand alone for what’s right regardless of what your friends do or say.”

  Timothy continues to see in James the kind of man who’s “the real deal,” people say, a guy who will “give you the shirt off his back.” Timothy even picks up his father’s love for reading and begins to learn about heroic, honorable men from Scripture and later history. He feels challenged by their stories, not wanting to be as vain, wasteful, and irresponsible as so many of his peers. When he talks with his dad about this, James puts his arm around him and tells him how proud he is of Timothy’s maturity and character. This moment prompts the idea: how about if the two of them start memorizing Scripture each week as a way to help them stay challenged and grow stronger together? Timothy loves the idea. It reminds him how much his dad loves him.

  It makes him feel like a man.

  Then, when Timothy turns fifteen, James takes him through a rite of passage to call him into manhood. James drives Timothy to a campsite where he’s asked several other men to come spend a day with them, speaking into Timothy’s life about what it means to be a godly man of integrity. Timothy listens, absorbing and cherishing every word.

  At the end of the day, after a special outdoor dinner, James stands up in front of their family and friends, turns to his son, and says, “Timothy, you are my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. Today, I acknowledge you as a man. You are fully accountable now to read, obey, and honor God and His Word from this day forward. God has created you for a special purpose and has great things in store for you in the days ahead.”

  His voice begins to tremble with pride as he finishes.

  “And I want everyone to know that I love you, and I am very proud to be your father.”

  A tear even wells up in your own eye as you hear the passion of a father’s heart, freely pouring out unconditional love to his son. James then presents Timothy with a new Bible, as well as a surprise gift—a heavy, gleaming, steel sword—signifying his call to fight the good fight and to stand strong in his faith.

  James embraces his son as everyone cheers. You watch the other men gather around Timothy. They join his father in praying over him, boldly asking God to make him a strong, courageous, and successful man throughout his life.

  The man God made new at a little country church now has a new, young man of his own.

  You feel honored to be here to see it.

  After this day, you can tell that Timothy’s mind-set changes. He stands taller and walks straighter. He begins to live fueled by his father’s blessing, and he quits worrying so much about what others think of him. He starts to study and meditate on the Scriptures more deeply as he follows the example of Christ. He learns that God has not given him a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. He resolves to diligently seek out and do the will of God for His life.

  Time flashes by as you see Timothy step up into manhood, do well in his education, surround himself with wise friends, and excel in employment. Wherever he works, his supervisors tend to favor him, amazed at how respectful, humble, and dependable he is.

  New seasons of his life pass by, highlighted by his marriage to a virtuous young woman. You watch James place his hands on their shoulders and proudly bless their marriage during the rehearsal dinner. You then see Timothy kissing his bride at the marriage altar to the cheers of their families and friends.

  Timothy embraces his responsibilities as a Christian husband, becoming a model of what it means to provide, protect, and lead a man’s family. He starts his own small company, making a name for himself not only as a smart businessman but as a respected boss who cares about his employees’ lives as much as their work, and who treats his clients with fairness and integrity.

  You then share his joy as he and his wife begin having children. As a father, Timothy builds upon the legacy his father had instilled in him, shepherding the hearts of his sons and daughters the way James had modeled. You watch how Timothy and his wife carefully work together to pass on a stronger legacy than even he had been given. He realizes that the values he imparts in his children will eventually impact his great-great-grandchildren one day.

  Timothy becomes a leader in his church and community. His pastor entrusts responsibilities to him as a solid teacher and spiritual mentor to other families in their fellowship. His children see his commitment to sharing the joys and sorrows of life with other believers in their church. And as his children come to Christ one by one, they develop a deep, personal love for God and are influenced by both their parents and their grandparents.

  As Timothy mentors each of his children, he calls them into adulthood and blesses them with his love, counsel, and support. Family crises are approached with faith instead of fear. Those who misunderstand or mock his family values are prayed for instead of hated. Timothy and his wife lovingly care for and honor his father, James, and his mother, Lilly, as they live out their final years and pass away.

  Timothy’s sons grow up to become heroic young men of honor. His daughters become wise and virtuous. They each radiate with kindness and are known for their strong faith, inner beauty, and noble character.

  Then the seasons change, children get married, and grandchildren arrive. As time passes before your eyes, you see a family reunion filled with joy as a wise, eighty-year-old Timothy commands attention with his touching stories of faith and life’s adventures. He is now able to hold and bless his great-grandchildren. All of them know they are loved, enjoying the rewards and security anchored in such a strong heritage of faith.

  As the sun sets on Timothy’s life, his appointed day arrives, and you see him lying peacefully, dying in his bed. Still loved and loving. Still spiritually strong in the midst of physical weakness. Still blessing others with the counsel of his whispery voice and the light in his eyes. Still faithful to his marriage vows after all these years. Surrounding him now are his loving wife, children, and grandchildren, each supporting him with their presence, encouragement, and prayers. Staring at his warm, weathered face, you can’t help but respect this man who is so fulfilled with His life. So grateful for God’s blessings on his family. So rich in all the things that matter.

  As you consider the full epic of his story, you become fully aware that the “wages” of Timothy’s life have brought immeasurable blessing and joy to his family, church, and community. Countless people have been helped by his example, teaching, and counsel. Business and ministry leaders thrive as a result of his strong leadership. Many individuals have come to faith in God because of his testimony and witness. You begin to hear the cheers of heaven celebrate as he takes his last breath in peace and is welcomed into his eternal home. You hear the Lord say, “Well done, My good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many. Come, blessed of My Father, and feast with Me at My table.” Your heart bursts with joy, knowing that his example is now being relived by all of his children, grandchildren, and dozens of great-grandchildren for decades to come.

  At his funeral, the church fills with friends and family who gather to mourn his loss and celebrate his life. You listen as people share seemingly endless stories with his family, expressing grate
fulness for all that Timothy had done and meant to them. They cry with hope, resting in the fact that he will be with his Lord forever and will be remembered on earth for many generations to come.

  Inspired by his story and with tears in your eyes, you smile as you deeply consider the awesome vision you have just experienced. And the importance of your own role as a husband and father becomes crystal clear. Every man will truly reap what he sows. You had never understood it quite this clearly before, but now it has become the burning desire of your heart.

  Then a horrific thought comes to your mind. You turn to God and ask, “Lord, which one is true? Which account is truly Timothy’s end?”

  The Lord looks into your eyes, and the smile leaves His face.

  “No, God, please don’t tell me that everything I’ve just seen is gone and never happened! Lord, I care about this man and his family now. I beg you, please don’t tell me the beauty and rewards of his life are lost, that he’s actually the man you showed me at first.”

  As you look into His eyes, your heart begins to ache with His. “Now you share in the sorrow of what I feel every day,” the Lord says, “as I watch men waste their lives.”

  Your eyes fill with tears as you grieve deeply and weep before the Lord. “But they don’t know, God. They don’t realize how much is at stake here. They’ve never seen what it really looks like. They haven’t seen the difference, the way You’ve shown me here tonight.”

  “But you have. And if they will read My Word, they can see it too. Both of these stories are being written right now in the lives of fathers around the world. But what is important now is to resolve which man you will become. Will you turn from your sins and completely trust me with your life? Will you take responsibility to be who I have created you to be? Will you obey My Word faithfully until the day of your death? You can resolve to be this kind of man; and you can finish well. Or you can live for yourself and lose so many of the incredible rewards I have placed before you.”

  “But, Lord,” you say, “I didn’t have a father like Timothy had. My dad was nothing like James. I’ve missed out on so much. I was never loved, mentored, and blessed like that by my dad.”

  “Then you need to use the rest of your life to be the one who breaks the chain and creates a new legacy for your family. You have seen the paths of both. It is now time for you to choose.”

  I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving the LORD your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days. (Deuteronomy 30:19–20)

  COURAGEOUS CHALLENGE

  Pray for God to give you His vision for generational faithfulness.

  MEMORY VERSE

  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV)

  Do not be like your fathers and your brothers, who were unfaithful to the LORD God of their fathers, so that He made them a horror . . . for if you return to the LORD, your brothers and your sons will find compassion.

  2 Chronicles 30:7, 9

  CHAPTER 3

  BECOMING A CHAIN BREAKER

  If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

  2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV

  As we prepare to dive into the points of Resolution in future chapters, it’s important to identify one preliminary battleground that will greatly influence your future success. It’s something that applies to all of us in one way or another. If we do not understand this and learn to walk in victory, our best intentions at following through on our other commitments will be very limited.

  Here it is: we need to ask God to break the chains in our lives and from our past. We need to become chain breakers—men who break away from anything holding us back from leaving a new legacy of faithfulness behind us. A chain breaker is the fork in his family tree. He’s the one God uses to end the legacy of rebellion against God that he may have learned from his parents and grandparents. Instead he passes on a legacy of faith, faithfulness, and blessing to his children and grandchildren, giving them a new model of obedience to follow.

  The generations of a family will lead one another further and further away from God unless a chain breaker steps up and turns things around—because although children are not punished for the sins of their parents, they are definitely affected and negatively influenced by them. There are no perfect fathers. Like everyone else, they are flawed, sinful, human beings who make mistakes. But because of their spiritual authority and influential position in our lives, they have impacted who we are, what we experience, what we believe, and what direction we’ve taken as we’ve grown up. Not only do we receive a sin nature from them but sin nurturing. We will tend to live in their wake, be influenced by their same mistakes, believe the same lies, and maybe even struggle with their same issues and addictions.

  Unless . . .

  This powerful “unless” is the liberating message of this chapter. We will go backward unless we break free from our family weaknesses by the power of God—by seeking Him, trusting Him, and following Him instead.

  But before we go any further, let’s clarify that the intent of this chapter is not to blame your parents for your own problems. They may have influenced you, but you are now responsible—not them—for your own sins. The Scriptures repeatedly teach that you should “honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). You should thank God for them regardless of their example knowing that God is the One who established your family of origin (Psalm 139:13–16). He placed you into their home for a reason. The Bible says:

  The God who made the world and everything in it . . . gives all men life and breath and everything else . . . and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. (Acts 17:24–27 NIV)

  Did you see that? God “determined the times” set for you and the “exact places” where you would live—for a reason—so that you would seek Him and ultimately find Him. No matter the circumstances of your birth, you were not an accident. God knew and allowed your parents to bring you into the world just the way they did and exactly when they did.

  Proverbs 20:24 says, “Man’s steps are ordained by the LORD. How then can man understand his way?” Though you may not have understood your path, God has been guiding your steps. It’s not a mistake that you are who you are and that your parents are (or were) your parents. And the truth is, if you were to know everything God knows, you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

  So despite any wrongs and pains you have been through, you have been intentionally placed in a position for God to use every one of your experiences for a greater good. To draw you into a relationship with Him. To develop your character and make you more like Jesus. To show how He can overcome any obstacle. To reveal His glory.

  If you’re willing to view your life from God’s providential vantage point, then it’s clear you don’t have to be crippled by any of the negative aspects in your family tree. You can now see them as paths to avoid, strongholds to conquer, and opportunities to reveal God’s power in your life.

  You could be the very one God has strategically placed in your family to turn things around. By seeking and finding God in your circumstances and by becoming completely dependent upon Him, you will be changing the game for future generations—starting right now, with your own family. It’s time to break some chains!

  There are three kinds of chains present in all of our lives:

  Chains that come from nature—our inbred sinful nature we received from our parents

  Chains that come from choices—sins we commit ourselves and the bondage that follows

  Chains that come from nurture—hurtful examples, lie
s, and worldly traditions we follow

  As we discuss chains that may be in your life, we must start by acknowledging that God is the key to the long-term success of you and your family. He is the ultimate Chain Breaker. Jesus launched His ministry by stating how He had been sent “to proclaim release to the captives” and “to set free those who are oppressed” (Luke 4:18). Paul confirmed this when he stated, “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24–25 NKJV). Whether it is our inborn sin nature or bad nurturing from a destructive influence, we should realize that surrendering our lives to Jesus Christ and living out the victory He has already won through His death on the cross are the foundations for being liberated from every chain. The power to break every curse is resident in His salvation. But let’s focus our lens even further and discover specific, biblical truths that will help us live in His freedom. Fasten your seat belt and hang on!

  Breaking the Chains from Our Sin Nature and Sinful Choices

  We are each born with a bent towards sin. In addition to this, Jesus revealed that when we commit sin, we actually become the “slave of sin” (John 8:34). It becomes our master, and we end up giving ourselves—mind, will, and body—in service to it. We know what that feels like. We know how hard it can be to escape our particular sins, addictions, and wrong habits—especially those modeled to us by our fathers.